Before Aryn and I were married, we spent a lot of time talking about our beliefs, how we did things, and how we would do things after we tied the knot (given that we had a very long-distance relationship for about three years, talking took up the vast majority of our time!). Often, these conversations concerned how we planned to raise our children, should God be gracious enough to give us any. We discussed our beliefs about raising our children in church, how we would discipline, how we would educate, and what kinds of family traditions we would like to establish. Each of us grew up in some different settings, whether in terms of socioeconomic status, family structure, or culture, so these conversations were important in helping us to understand the other’s experience and expectations. The vast majority of the time, we agreed on the direction we wanted to take; where we disagreed, it was almost always over a matter so minor that one or the other was willing to compromise and let it go.
One of the areas we discussed had to do with holiday traditions. Both of us placed a high value on family, so we knew that we would want to spend as many holidays as possible with extended family, creating memories that would last a lifetime (like each of us already had). It’s not surprising, then, that we eventually had to address the question of holiday “personalities” – Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and so forth. Both of us grew up with these holiday representatives, although in neither of our cases were they overly hyped. Ultimately, we decided that we would not incorporate them for various reasons. We were careful, however, to be sure that our kids didn’t “ruin” the holidays for their classmates or others.
These examples present us with an illustration of a decision that believers must make regarding numerous aspects of the culture in which we live. Do we simply accept the expressions of the culture around us, inviting them into our homes and lives, or do we outright refuse them? There are times when each answer might be appropriate, while other circumstances require a more nuanced approach. We might divide our answers into three categories: 1) we can receive the aspect of the culture, 2) we can reject that aspect, or 3) we can redeem it. The first two options are pretty straightforward. Before we consider each one, let me be clear in saying that each decision should be based on prayerful consideration and a biblically-informed and Spirit-led conscience. We may even seek the advice of believers whose opinions and evaluations we trust and respect.
With that said, should we receive an aspect of the culture, we do so with the belief that it does not present anything contrary to the faith; that is, it will not hinder our family’s spiritual growth. If we return to our example of holiday personalities, this would involve decorating with Santa, allowing our children to believe the mythology surrounding him, and even labeling gifts under the tree as being from him. Should we reject something, we would carefully and meticulously prevent any representation or practice in our family life. There would be no fat man in a red or white suit, no cookies and milk left out on the counter, or reading of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. Occasionally, the issues we face are clear in one of these two direction, but for much of what we encounter in our culture, we have to make the decision of whether we can redeem the matter. This requires much more careful thought. Can Santa be redeemed for incorporation into our holiday traditions? I think so. We can discuss Nicholas of Myra (on whom Santa Klaus is loosely fashioned), a bishop in Turkey who attended the Council of Nicea and legendarily slapped the heretic Arius. We can share how he gave gifts secretly to the poor and oppressed. We can leave out all the North Pole elfish mythology. In doing so, we can incorporate the history of Christ’s Church into our celebration of the Savior’s birth. Not everything can be redeemed, of course, but either blindly receiving or outright rejecting something can create other issues. We are called to exercise careful discernment in such matters, so that in all things, we might bring glory to our God. Just something to think about…
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